the moon .

Last night was a tough one to sleep in. My body was (and is still) sore (from broomballing) and my head was wrought with worry and fear, full of loud thoughts countering my efforts (if you can call it that) to go to sleep. My eyes were closed but heavy with tension. "Not helping." It was probably about 3 when I decided to open my eyes. But instead of thick darkness, I was pleasantly surprised to see the room dimly lit by the moon. It was positioned in the sky so that its light shone through the edges of the curtain onto my face. It was calming... comfortable... My once-relentless thoughts cooled down as my focus was diverted to the waning moon, its light bright enough to guide a lost wanderer (thankfully, for me, in a forest of thoughts and worry), but dim enough to look directly at.

The purpose of the moon. Why is it there, this gray lump of mass, just circling its orbit around the earth? It serves several functions in the earth's tides and seasons and telling of time, but I feel that its main purpose is its light.

I wish I could always sleep beneath the light of the moon.
It wouldn't phase me. (bahhahahahaa)

Humility is the moon. The moon knows that it has no light of its own so it doesn't float around in space saying, "Look at me shine! Look at me shine!" No, it simply reflects the light of the sun to the earth. That's a picture of a good worship leader. Yes, people will look at you, but you are just a reflection of a greater Light. And this Light is life to all who seek it.
-Chris Tomlin

g.k. chesterton

“The most extraordinary thing in the world is an ordinary man and an ordinary woman and their ordinary children.”

easier said than done.

It is so hard to swallow your own pride. I am at default quick to gnash at and bite up other people's pride. But can I really bite my tongue and grit my teeth and gulp down all the words my pride tells me to say? This is not to say to keep it all in and be the "better" person by not saying anything at all (which I don't think will be helpful...plus, trying to be the "better" person can sometimes be the wrong motive). I think things can be righted with proper words and tones, in civility, and with effort from all sides. But in a situation where no one is completely at fault but then again not completely in the right, it's much easier to spotlight and shame anyone else's wrongs. And without communication, everything is just...stuck. Murky. 'Everyone else is in the wrong, so why should I say or do anything?' It is really hard to admit that I was wrong especially when others won't admit they were too. Being the first one to admit anything in and of itself is really hard.

And even after giving in and acknowledging and apologizing and taking heat, but others still aren't budging, am I able to rejoice in my suffering, not mope and sulk in it? Instead of staying stuck in my sobbing and listing out all my horrible feelings to God and swimming in misery, am I able to sing songs of praise and declare God is still good and worthy to be praised?

It's all so much easier said than done...

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more than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
-romans5.3-5 esv
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count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
-james1.2-4 esv

d.l.moody

character is what you are in the dark.

God is sovereign.

the little things.

This week,
while getting stuck in my evening commute from work (as per usual), I noticed a flock of black birds flying wildly, left & right, up & down (the ones that you've probably seen on Instagram). It's not everyday I get to see them whoosh through the air like that, flying in unison to a tune only they could hear. Thanking traffic (for a change), I caught myself staring and smiling at the sight...right as traffic picked up and the hum and cough of engines woke me from my small reverie.

Today,
stopped on a light on the same ol' street jammed with cars, I saw the same (or different?) birds dance their wild flight to a song silent to human ears. It was at the same location and time-frame as before, as if the birds had decided to busk on this unclaimed (/unclaimable) territory on some unknown schedule. My gaze was interrupted by a pedestrian crossing the street. A beanie wrapped itself snugly around her head, her short curls peeking out; layers of (somewhat thin) clothes and a jacket protected her from the cold; and brown boots reached for her knees. Even as she walked, her attention was held by the curious, erratic birds, a small smile playing across her face. It was nice to see someone appreciate the sight...not caught up in life's routine. And not having to stop to take a picture. It was her moment. But then again, it was a shared moment. A shared wonder. The same wonder that we all have when we appreciate the small things in life, even when we are by ourselves.

I don't know you, I don't know your name...but thank you.

out of love for God,

doing the things that no one else gives a second thought of doing
reaching out to those most avoid or are indifferent to
trusting God even when you can't hear His voice and all hope seems lost
praising God even when everything is going right and life is comfortable

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we remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 thessalonians 1:3
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brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. but God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -- and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God -- that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. therefore, as it is written: "let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."
1 corinthians 1:26-31
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...rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. in your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus...
philippians 2
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*am i living entitled and not thinking more highly of others?
*remember where you once were
*remember God's unchanging love and grace and mercy

Your humility paved the way for our salvation.