felt like playing with words.

He strolls through his garden, taking care to gaze at each and every fruit, tree, and plant. The morning dew hangs in the air, giving off a kind of suspension in time, a mysterious feeling that something else hangs in its mist. Gently, carefully even, down a worn but kempt path he walks, each step accompanied by a small marvel and intrigue over a tiny, budding flower, or a bite of a ripe and juicy fruit. "Mmm," he nods, as the taste of a peach draws a crooked smile on his face.

He veers off path onto a damp meadow. By now, the dew has settled on the surface of the grass. Still surveying his surroundings in admiration, he slowly strolls towards a patch of land patterned with dirt, which rolls on the land in waves, each depression holding life. Inquisitively, he lowers himself to scoop out a small, bright-red tomato nestled in its vine. Dusting and cleaning it off with his hands, he brings it to his mouth. His brows furrow at first, and quickly jump in curiosity at the sudden burst of flavor, a mix of sweet and sour. He smiles and nods, but concludes that it will take some getting used to before he likes this one.

The day continues and his exploration takes a pause. He sits down on the roots of a tall, sturdy tree standing on land's edge. He inspects it, his eyes traveling through its ridges and his hands contemplating its pulse. Its branches spread out, stretching towards the heavens, and its roots consume water from the river and nutrients from the soil. Thankful for its shade, he leans against its smooth trunk. After a brief moment, he takes a cue from the tree, bending towards the river to drink some of its water. He nods again, and stands.

A little more trekking and exploring, and the light begins to fade as he decides his day's excursion has come to an end. He takes one last look and beholds the scenery before him. He remembers the sights, the tastes, the scents of the day and, his heart full, nods one last time.

He decides that it is good, and wraps up the third day, the earth's last without the sun.

there is more.

Our God is a God who does not stick to just one method in carrying out His plans. He shows His infinite wisdom and love for us in so many different ways! He is so beyond our own thinking and reasoning; we can not figure Him out and contain Him in a small box of our experiences. Yes, experience with God is so important, so necessary. But we mustn't base Him just off of those experiences. He works in so many diverse and unthinkable ways, sometimes it is humorous.

I don't think this undoes/disproves itself. It doesn't 'contain' Him within these words and thoughts. Instead, it all the more promotes His infiniteness -- His omniscience, omnipresence, omnipotence.

The more I know, the more there is to know & learn.

oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
how unsearchable His judgments, and His paths beyond tracing out!
who has known the mind of the Lord?
or who has been His counselor?
who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?
for from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.
to Him be the glory forever! Amen.

romans 11 . 33-36

john newton -

"Assurance grows by repeated conflict, by our repeated experimental proof of the Lord’s power and goodness to save; when we have been brought very low and helped, sorely wounded and healed, cast down and raised again, have given up all hope, and been suddenly snatched from danger, and placed in safety; and when these things have been repeated to us and in us a thousand times over, we begin to learn to trust simply to the word and power of God, beyond and against appearances: and this trust, when habitual and strong, bears the name of assurance; for even assurance has degrees."

on when your labors seem fruitless

There are days, sometimes weeks, when I feel my efforts and labors are futile, fruitless, wasted. (I'm not saying that I am doing so much and want to be noticed for everything; I know I could always do more.)

But I have to remind and remind myself: God sees all. Even the things that I don't see -- perhaps, especially the things that I don't see. He sees it all, and that's all that matters. When others don't see, and when others do see but ignore or look down on your efforts, as long as your heart is pure, God sees your deeds and is glad. When my heart and desires that are grounded upon glorifying and loving God progressively manifest into a heart and deeds/labors of loving His people, there will be fruit, because ultimately it is He who nurtures and waters and grows. He is the breather of life. I am only an instrument, a channel. I will be disheartened by what I do not see* when my heart is focused only on what can be seen.
(*I am not using "what I do not see" as an equivalent to "the unseen" here.)

Many verses to choose from, but here are a few:

We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Thessalonians 1:3)

For we live by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:13, 14)

E, rest assured, God sees.

leading .

Serving as a leader has been such a great joy in my life, both physical and spiritual.
But it does come with its moments of struggle as well.

More and more I realize that serving as a leader at church is indeed just that -- serving. In the world, a leader tends to describe someone who has power and personality, someone who can persuade and bring everyone together. And I'm not saying that's bad... those are all great things. God is actually the one who places and uses these leaders, even those of governing bodies.

But in the church, a leader is someone who follows Christ, and leads others to Him. Not to my own interests, not to my own ideals, but to those of Christ... and leading and guiding others towards Christ.

hope .

so i say, “my splendor is gone & all that i had hoped from the Lord.” i remember my affliction & my wandering, the bitterness & the gall. i well remember them, & my soul is downcast within me. (niv)

** yet i still dare to hope when i remember this : the faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. i say to myself, “the Lord is my inheritance; therefore, i will hope in Him!” ** (nlt)

lamentations 3 : 18-24 .