It is so hard to swallow your own pride. I am at default quick to gnash at and bite up other people's pride. But can I really bite my tongue and grit my teeth and gulp down all the words my pride tells me to say? This is not to say to keep it all in and be the "better" person by not saying anything at all (which I don't think will be helpful...plus, trying to be the "better" person can sometimes be the wrong motive). I think things can be righted with proper words and tones, in civility, and with effort from all sides. But in a situation where no one is completely at fault but then again not completely in the right, it's much easier to spotlight and shame anyone else's wrongs. And without communication, everything is just...stuck. Murky. 'Everyone else is in the wrong, so why should I say or do anything?' It is really hard to admit that I was wrong especially when others won't admit they were too. Being the first one to admit anything in and of itself is really hard.
And even after giving in and acknowledging and apologizing and taking heat, but others still aren't budging, am I able to rejoice in my suffering, not mope and sulk in it? Instead of staying stuck in my sobbing and listing out all my horrible feelings to God and swimming in misery, am I able to sing songs of praise and declare God is still good and worthy to be praised?
It's all so much easier said than done...
---
more than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
-romans5.3-5 esv
---
count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
-james1.2-4 esv
2.09.2016
2.06.2016
2.04.2016
1.27.2016
the little things.
This week,
while getting stuck in my evening commute from work (as per usual), I noticed a flock of black birds flying wildly, left & right, up & down (the ones that you've probably seen on Instagram). It's not everyday I get to see them whoosh through the air like that, flying in unison to a tune only they could hear. Thanking traffic (for a change), I caught myself staring and smiling at the sight...right as traffic picked up and the hum and cough of engines woke me from my small reverie.
Today,
stopped on a light on the same ol' street jammed with cars, I saw the same (or different?) birds dance their wild flight to a song silent to human ears. It was at the same location and time-frame as before, as if the birds had decided to busk on this unclaimed (/unclaimable) territory on some unknown schedule. My gaze was interrupted by a pedestrian crossing the street. A beanie wrapped itself snugly around her head, her short curls peeking out; layers of (somewhat thin) clothes and a jacket protected her from the cold; and brown boots reached for her knees. Even as she walked, her attention was held by the curious, erratic birds, a small smile playing across her face. It was nice to see someone appreciate the sight...not caught up in life's routine. And not having to stop to take a picture. It was her moment. But then again, it was a shared moment. A shared wonder. The same wonder that we all have when we appreciate the small things in life, even when we are by ourselves.
I don't know you, I don't know your name...but thank you.
while getting stuck in my evening commute from work (as per usual), I noticed a flock of black birds flying wildly, left & right, up & down (the ones that you've probably seen on Instagram). It's not everyday I get to see them whoosh through the air like that, flying in unison to a tune only they could hear. Thanking traffic (for a change), I caught myself staring and smiling at the sight...right as traffic picked up and the hum and cough of engines woke me from my small reverie.
Today,
stopped on a light on the same ol' street jammed with cars, I saw the same (or different?) birds dance their wild flight to a song silent to human ears. It was at the same location and time-frame as before, as if the birds had decided to busk on this unclaimed (/unclaimable) territory on some unknown schedule. My gaze was interrupted by a pedestrian crossing the street. A beanie wrapped itself snugly around her head, her short curls peeking out; layers of (somewhat thin) clothes and a jacket protected her from the cold; and brown boots reached for her knees. Even as she walked, her attention was held by the curious, erratic birds, a small smile playing across her face. It was nice to see someone appreciate the sight...not caught up in life's routine. And not having to stop to take a picture. It was her moment. But then again, it was a shared moment. A shared wonder. The same wonder that we all have when we appreciate the small things in life, even when we are by ourselves.
I don't know you, I don't know your name...but thank you.
1.25.2016
out of love for God,
doing the things that no one else gives a second thought of doing
reaching out to those most avoid or are indifferent to
trusting God even when you can't hear His voice and all hope seems lost
praising God even when everything is going right and life is comfortable
---
we remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 thessalonians 1:3
---
brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. but God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -- and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God -- that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. therefore, as it is written: "let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."
1 corinthians 1:26-31
---
...rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. in your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus...
philippians 2
---
*am i living entitled and not thinking more highly of others?
*remember where you once were
*remember God's unchanging love and grace and mercy
reaching out to those most avoid or are indifferent to
trusting God even when you can't hear His voice and all hope seems lost
praising God even when everything is going right and life is comfortable
---
we remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 thessalonians 1:3
---
brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. but God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -- and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God -- that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. therefore, as it is written: "let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."
1 corinthians 1:26-31
---
...rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. in your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus...
philippians 2
---
*am i living entitled and not thinking more highly of others?
*remember where you once were
*remember God's unchanging love and grace and mercy
9.17.2015
felt like playing with words.
He strolls through his garden, taking care to gaze at each and every fruit, tree, and plant. The morning dew hangs in the air, giving off a kind of suspension in time, a mysterious feeling that something else hangs in its mist. Gently, carefully even, down a worn but kempt path he walks, each step accompanied by a small marvel and intrigue over a tiny, budding flower, or a bite of a ripe and juicy fruit. "Mmm," he nods, as the taste of a peach draws a crooked smile on his face.
He veers off path onto a damp meadow. By now, the dew has settled on the surface of the grass. Still surveying his surroundings in admiration, he slowly strolls towards a patch of land patterned with dirt, which rolls on the land in waves, each depression holding life. Inquisitively, he lowers himself to scoop out a small, bright-red tomato nestled in its vine. Dusting and cleaning it off with his hands, he brings it to his mouth. His brows furrow at first, and quickly jump in curiosity at the sudden burst of flavor, a mix of sweet and sour. He smiles and nods, but concludes that it will take some getting used to before he likes this one.
The day continues and his exploration takes a pause. He sits down on the roots of a tall, sturdy tree standing on land's edge. He inspects it, his eyes traveling through its ridges and his hands contemplating its pulse. Its branches spread out, stretching towards the heavens, and its roots consume water from the river and nutrients from the soil. Thankful for its shade, he leans against its smooth trunk. After a brief moment, he takes a cue from the tree, bending towards the river to drink some of its water. He nods again, and stands.
A little more trekking and exploring, and the light begins to fade as he decides his day's excursion has come to an end. He takes one last look and beholds the scenery before him. He remembers the sights, the tastes, the scents of the day and, his heart full, nods one last time.
He decides that it is good, and wraps up the third day, the earth's last without the sun.
He veers off path onto a damp meadow. By now, the dew has settled on the surface of the grass. Still surveying his surroundings in admiration, he slowly strolls towards a patch of land patterned with dirt, which rolls on the land in waves, each depression holding life. Inquisitively, he lowers himself to scoop out a small, bright-red tomato nestled in its vine. Dusting and cleaning it off with his hands, he brings it to his mouth. His brows furrow at first, and quickly jump in curiosity at the sudden burst of flavor, a mix of sweet and sour. He smiles and nods, but concludes that it will take some getting used to before he likes this one.
The day continues and his exploration takes a pause. He sits down on the roots of a tall, sturdy tree standing on land's edge. He inspects it, his eyes traveling through its ridges and his hands contemplating its pulse. Its branches spread out, stretching towards the heavens, and its roots consume water from the river and nutrients from the soil. Thankful for its shade, he leans against its smooth trunk. After a brief moment, he takes a cue from the tree, bending towards the river to drink some of its water. He nods again, and stands.
A little more trekking and exploring, and the light begins to fade as he decides his day's excursion has come to an end. He takes one last look and beholds the scenery before him. He remembers the sights, the tastes, the scents of the day and, his heart full, nods one last time.
He decides that it is good, and wraps up the third day, the earth's last without the sun.
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