may the breaking not cause me to seek out

temporary solutions, temporary alleviations, temporary protections -

in the process building a fortress of accumulated idols,

burying me in the walls that were intended to shelter

but may the crushing allow You to carve

a well so deep and so firm

to hold Your anointing,

Your anointing that breaks chains

within and without;

may it purify what my sins have stained -

the things You'd entrusted to me...

mold in me once again more space

for Your love and Your grace

in the way only You can create out of nothing

help me not to turn a blind eye or run away

as if it could cause sorrow to disappear

but help me to hold on

help me to keep trusting You

help me to endure in the little things

even if i don't know and can't see what You're doing

even if You feel far away

even if this life seems done away with

i don't know how but would You be glorified

help me to hold fast to Your hesed,

Your kind, relentless, unchanging love for us

fears // figuring her out .

- thorns / walls

- difficulty asking for help

- pretending to hate what she likes

-- difficulty expressing affection

when the walls that were designed to protect

start to isolate and destroy...

"아무리 괜찮은 일상을 흉내를 내도

고장난 부분은 그렇게 불쑥 튀어나오더라고요."

<드라마 - 멜로무비>

ㅠㅠ

create

be a planter of seeds

create

for your fulfillment and joy

the fruits will bear on the by

produce something

not for the success

(which, if it does come by, great,

if not, it's fine)

no more consuming

more creating

more planting

shalom

"The Hebrew word for this perfect, harmonious interdependence among all parts of creation is called shalom. We translate it as 'peace,' but the English word is basically negative, referring to the absence of trouble or hostility. The Hebrew word means much more than that. It means absolute wholeness — full, harmonious, joyful, flourishing life."

— The Reason for God, Tim Keller