a season of saying 'no' to myself,
and following through.
----
my thoughts have become so big.
it's good for us to prepare before anything takes place. but i've become so used to preparing myself for the worst with my thoughts and my brain goes into overdrive, and now in many situations, rather than confronting anything head-on, the thoughts have become decision-makers themselves. they no longer are just "thoughts" or "plans"; they've become too big that they sap all my energy for whatever they've been made to prepare me for… (does this even make sense). i guess sometimes, that's why spontaneity can be refreshing.
so it's important to resist my thoughts, consciously. if i don't, they'll just keep going, and on harder days it'll be easier to cave in with my own attempts to distract/console myself. resisting can be, for example, thinking/saying 'no' to myself (when i'm able to actually catch a thought lol). and of course with the Word and talking to God. thinking is just a natural part of us and thoughts can just flow on their own that you don't think twice to stop in your tracks and catch them.... i want to be more active in that.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
— phil4.6
Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
— psalm86.11
